Horrorible Review: “Cold Prey”

Cold Prey movie poster

Cold Prey

Not Coldplay, which I have heard are the minion of hell but I’ve never made a point of listening to them so I don’t know. No, this is Cold Prey, my latest foray into Norwegian horror. Because of the name I somehow got it into my head that it was a vampire movie, though why I would watch that escapes me. Escape is the theme of the film, and also snow. Apparently, playing in the snow is something everyone in Norway does, with all the cities completely emptying over Easter holiday so they can trudge up steep, deeply powdered mountains and then swoop down through the biting cold, because apparently this is a fun thing to do.*

The first couple of shots has what appears to be a harlequin floundering around in the snow, until he’s buried alive in it by some evil being. It’s a well-made sequence, and it got my attention. There follows a slew of 1970s social media and modern stories about how very dangerous the mountains are, and how many people die every year during the Easter frolic. Cut to a virile group of young people driving eagerly up to the mountains to trudge and swoop. The driver knows a special place where they won’t be bothered by the madding crowd. They’ll be away from it all.  Totally isolated.

When the obligatory broken leg leaves them scrambling for a place to hold up for the night, isn’t it great that there’s an abandoned ski lodge right down the hill?  Even better, the leftover liquor is twenty years older than when it was delivered when the place was last open, the generator is still working, and the cassette tapes still play over the speakers.

If only there wasn’t some evil thing already inhabiting this idyll. We don’t see the thing for the longest time, which is great, and he uses all manner of evil stabbing and chopping tools, which is creepy.  I found it amusing how the kids kept saying hello so politely to him, you know, like every time they’d see or hear something frightening they’d look around saying, “Hello? Hello?”  I thought, “Get the F outta here!!” might have been more appropriate but I suppose they’re very polite in Norway.

The color palette is a little odd in Cold Prey, which I noticed without irritation. There’s not a lot of music and I can’t remember any of it, so there’s not a problem there. All the actors fulfill their stereotypes well, though the stereotypes aren’t quite the same as an American film. For one thing, the blond sleazy girl is portrayed sympathetically, and her boyfriend actually feels guilty for pressuring her for sex rather than pouting.  A couple of jump scares worked pretty well, and one laugh out loud misdirect. I was very pleased to see how easily, and how well, one of the women characters stepped up to take care of things, and equally pleased to watch the men being just fine with that. Definitely not an American architype, and much appreciated.

Even knowing how things are going to unfold didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the movie, though I will warn you that saying them out loud if you’re watching with a friend can detract from the friendship. Cold Prey doesn’t have anything new to add to the nearly half century old sleepover slasher canon, but this is a good movie that I would recommend to any fans of the genre.


COLD PREY – Official Trailer

CFR: In Addition: Nope, won’t be watching this. I hate slasher movies. If you like slasher movies, it seems this is for you.

*It IS a fun thing to do. – CFR

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