Horrorible Review: “Zombieland”

Enjoy this Monday with Mildred!

This is also Zombie World Tour post!

 Zombieland movie poster


Lucky for you, this film can be had for a low, low price.  I’m not sure why, because it’s a fun romp with higher than average production values for a zombie film.  It’s my third favorite, despite being fast zombies, since their speed is part of the funny.

Jimi Hendricks’ The Star Spangled Banner blares over a frenetic, bloody and violent opening sequence that makes sure we all know right up front and without a doubt that the country is screwed. A voice over from our narrator, played by Jesse Eisenberg explains, “Oh America.  I wish I could tell you that this is still America.  But I’ve come to realize you can’t have a country without people.  No, my friend.  This is now the United States of Zombieland.”

Eisenberg is perfectly cast as the extreme nerdy recluse “Columbus” who faces the zombie apocalypse with a firm set of rules.  On his way to try and find his parents he falls in with the also perfectly cast Woody Harrelson.  “Tallahassee” sneers at rules and hates zombies with a white hot passion that rivals his need for Twinkies.  He is in the ass kicking business, and business is good.”

Rounding out the very small cast are Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin as sisters “Witchita” and “Little Rock”, who repeatedly best the hapless boys until they tire of it and throw in with them to head toward Hollywood and Pacific Playland, a reported oasis of amusement park fun with no zombies.

If you are allergic to puns and sight gags you will not like this movie.  Rule #3 Beware of Bathrooms is explained, “Don’t let them catch you with your pants down.”  The victorious zombie then emerges from the bathroom with an enormous toilet paper tag dragging from his shoe.

The film has not one but two nods to the traditional store scene along with all the gore and ick one expects to find in a zombie flick.  Adapted from a spec television series, Zombieland a fast paced zip through an undead country.  Hilarity ensues.

The Rules:

#1 Cardio “The first to go were the fatties.”

#2 The Double Tap

#3 Beware of Bathrooms says the phobic hero with irritable bowel syndrome

#4 Seatbelts

#7 Travel Light

#17 Don’t be a Hero

#18 Limber Up

#22 When in Doubt, Know Your Way Out

#31 Check the Back Seat

# 32 Enjoy the Little Things like a wrecked Hostess truck full of nearly fresh Sno Balls


Zombieland Trailer #2 – In Theaters 10/2

Picture of Twinkies.

Picture of Twinkies. Taken from Wikipedia page.

CFR: In Addition: I love Twinkies. I don’t love Sno Balls so they don’t get their own picture.

2 responses to “Horrorible Review: “Zombieland”

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