Horrorible Review: “Prometheus”

 Enjoy this Monday with Mildred!


I didn’t hate it, and wasn’t terribly annoyed at any point. But people were right, this is a very good looking movie that could have been so much better. The film, as was Alien, made by the same director [Ridley Scott] lifetimes ago, is sweeping in scale and a treat – for the eye.  If the movie manages to get past your eyes and engage with the brain, all is lost.  Alien never really attempted a mental repartee, which is one of the many reasons it’s a classic.  I’m so used to Hollywood movies being stupid about science that I have grown a callous, but [in Prometheus] RIGHT off the BAT, the main characters are doing stupid crap (Really?  You’re going to stick your head into a just-opened tomb without a respirator?  And why the *#($& did you knock that huge hole in the wall to stick your face into!?  Ever hear of CAMERAS!?), and it doesn’t get better.  Seems like the further they get from Earth the dumber they behave, and I don’t know about you but stupid characters do not get my sympathies.  I want to root for a cool person, not a strutting moron.

Anyone who has ever seen a slasher film will appreciate the Get The Band Together early part of the movie.  You know most (or more likely these days ALL) of these characters are going to die somehow.  It’s the only reason they’re on the screen.  Since they’re arrogant idiots, why do I even bother to learn their names, much less develop feelings for them.  Oh, wait. I didn’t.

Noomi Rapace is a good substitute for Ripley, which is one of many throwbacks to the original movie, but I couldn’t decide whether or not I liked the all the nods.  It was like they were photobombing the film with some guy waving a flag that said, “Made by the guy who made Alien.”

If you like pretty, innocuous movies that are supposed to scare you and make you think deep thoughts (*snort*) then you might enjoy this.  Better that you pop in your copy of Alien and be actually unnerved by a pretty movie.


Prometheus movie poster

2 responses to “Horrorible Review: “Prometheus”

  1. Good review. It has some interesting ideas here and there, but overall, just feels like another retread of whatever Scott did with Alien.

  2. Thanks. It took me a long time to watch this because I was warned by people I *should have trusted* that it was not one of Scott’s better films.

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