Jurassic World: Rebirth

Look at me, on a dinosaur kick. Last week the dinosaurs came to us, and this week we’re going back to visit them. This franchise started back in the stone age of computer graphics (see what I did there?), 1993, where the audience was as wowed by how good the Brachiosaurus looked as Dr. Alan Grant was. Trust me, it was a big deal to see dinosaurs on the big screen that didn’t resemble a rubber factory reject. The Earth’s biggest creatures to ever live in millions of years are still entertaining us, seven movies later.

I’m a little behind the eight ball here, because I watched the first movie several times, but the second one only once and the third one…well…I saw the trailer. This film blatantly name drops it’s predecessors, but I only caught the ones from the first movie. They did the funny car mirror joke, and the dinosaur banner falling image, and the spitting dinosaur thing,  and the Dr. Grant name drop.  I will not be going back to watch the other movies just to catch the easter eggs.

Opening with some title cards we learn that “17 years ago”… scientists doing dumb science things are mutating dinosaurs in a secure facility. *snort* Secure. Anyway, one wayward Milky Way wrapper later, an ugly T Rex mutant clone escapes. (Is the Milky Way an easter egg? Google isn’t saying.) It looked somewhat like the mutant alien in Alien: Ressurection, which I found fascinating and gross. Fast forward 15 years and the world is done with live dinosaurs, especially when they escape an enclosure in New York City, munch trees and cause traffic jams. But an evil Large Corporation (aren’t they all evil in the movies?) hires covert operative Zora (Scarlett Johansson) and her team to go to an off, off…OFF limit island full of dinosaurs to retrieve biological samples, yadda yadda yadda. Chaos ensues.

The film is too long, first of all, and I won’t even begin to go into the plot holes. The whole Getting The Gang Together part of act one is way overlong, though I did appreciate the humor infused into the situation and how well the actors actually sold a group of mercenaries who get along and like each other instead of reminding me of a gang of preening peacocks. There are many scenes with original Jurassic Park music, which worked for me, and the scenery everywhere is really pretty. I liked the few times the writers did something clever, but mostly it’s pretty by the numbers. Sometimes the camera moves too much in the quiet scenes and I just wanted to smack the back of the head of whatever auteur thought he needed “more movement” in a surf and turf adventure film. Also, if you’ve seen The End of Elm Street you’ll know what I mean when I say I’m really over the romantic dinosaur thing. Please.

It’s great to have lived long enough to see the amazing progress in computer graphics since that rough hewn first film. The film that pretty much started the cgi craze in the first place. There is also a nifty monologue putting everything in perspective that I nearly wanted to applaud.  Something else this film has in common with the first is solid acting. Scarlett Johansson is too good for this film. She proved her physicality in Iron Man way back when, so it’s easy to believe her as a kick butt mercenary here, but she’s so much better than every other actor (except one) that even though I felt like she was holding back, she made them look bad. The other quality actor is Mahershala Ali (Green Book, True Detective) who is excellent in everything. I did find it amusing when they finally caved and made the little girl (Audrina Miranda) look like she got lost from the set of Where in the World is Carmen Sandiago?

I enjoyed watching this movie and glad I took a chance on it after decades of ignoring the franchise. The story is okay, if you overlook the plot holes, the scenery is pretty and the action sequences look nice even if they go on too long. There are two quality actors and the rest work hard trying to keep up. You’ll notice I didn’t say anything about suspense. Nothing to see here, move along. A lot of by the numbers action flick stuff, even done well, tends to get a little dull after a while but I still enjoyed myself well enough. If you’re on a dinosaur kick, like me, give it a try.

Triggers: child in danger, Jaws-itis alert for the ocean scenes, evil corporate guy (natch)

Available on: Netflix, Fandango, Apple TV, YouTube, Google Play, Amazon Prime

LINKS:

• Jurassic World: Rebirth – Official Website
• Jurassic World: Rebirth – IMDB
• Jurassic World: Rebirth – Wikipedia

CFR: In Addition

I haven’t seen this yet. I did like the other movies, until the sexist nonsense with Chris Pratt & Bryce Dallas Howard where in the trailer he kept talking about dating her and wasn’t listening to anything she was actually saying. Then I heard about the high heels and I was done.

I want to see this movie and maybe one day I will. I do like the dinosaurs.

Now my first thought when I saw the first Jurassic Park was “Oh wow you could hunt those dinos! You could feed a village. You could clothe a village. You could use the bones to build buildings.” So my fear factor was low. Also my soul sister was doing graduate work in bioanthropology and genetics so I told her I wanted her to clone me a dino and she said “Ok.” I don’t think the funding went through. 🙂

I would love to stand next to a dinosaur or rather a dinosaur in full size statue form and just experience it. So perhaps I will go and experience this movie and enjoy myself.

Or not. I can always watch the first one again.