Stop! That! Train!
This movie gets my enthusiastic vote for Most Obnoxious To Type Title of All Time. Consider, if you will, how often a reviewer has to type the title. Luckily, after today I won’t have to again, I hope.
The current film is a very queer pastiche of Airplane, an insane 1980 romp through the sky with “High Adventure”, “Drama”, “Action”, “Romance”, “Music”, and “Dancing”, according to the trailer (which I highly recommend in itself). Stop! That! Train! has all of that as well. Airplane was a relentless shout out to the disaster film overload of the time, featuring very famous dramatic actors in ridiculously comedic roles, a gazillion sight gags that often rely on the viewer being familiar with the source material, and a slew of surprising cameos. Stop! That! Train! has all of that as well. My favorite recurring gag is probably the Sarah Michelle Geller joke, with “Now tell it to me gay.” coming in a close second. (There’s a Geller joke in the IMdB as well.)
Both films also feature a funny nun, but Airplane has only one super queer – and belovedly hilarious – character. Stop! That! Train!’s DNA is purely queer. The hilarious gay guy from Airplane is replaced by an earnest cis straight woman who actually delivers one of the best lines in the film. The conductor nails the Super Creep vibes Peter Graves initiated in the first movie, without the sexual innuendo this time.
After suffering through an amazing array of terrible trailers (plus Nicole Kidman, dangit) including one that actually made me nauseous, there is a title card that promises Everything is Exactly as it happened. We are then introduced to Tess and Dee Dee, super besties who are hostesses for the low rent Stank Rail. What they really want is to move up to the swank, dazzling, and out of their reach Glamazonian Express. Doesn’t it figure when they do sneak in it’s the one time the train ends up speeding toward disaster. (To be fair, they ARE going to Florida.) The regular hostesses are ultimate mean girls, but the co-conductor was just on the cover of Conductors Whose Dick We’d Like to See magazine. Stormaganza is coming and chaos is ensuing.
While enjoying the Airplane vibes I also felt some Barb and Star Go to Vista del Mar and a little Barbie. This little gem, shot in only 19 days, is so over the top you can’t see the ground, which is fine because it’s on a train. The Mean Girl Express does go off the rail a time or two, but it always picks up steam and chugs on. This movie is a hot mess of humor and dance numbers and sight gags and queer jokes that are completely accessible.
RuPaul plays President Gagwell, and I have to admit, every time she shows up the movie drags a bit. (sorry, couldn’t resist). Tess is played by Ginger Minj, and he has done a few other films like The Bitch Who Stole Christmas and Hocus Pocus 2 (which I will now have to watch just for him). DeeDee is played by Jujubee and he has done work like the series Tongue Thai’d with Pangina Heals. The two are great together and consistently bring the laughs. The mean girls of all mean girls are Alli (Marty Lauter, who only has one other IMdB credit), Symone is Ayshleiygh (try typing THAT name) and has worked on Abbot Elementary and Station 19. Head mean girl Amber is played by Brock Heyhoe (an ultimate drag name!) and he was also in The Bitch Who Stole Christmas. I would happily go see a film starring just these three guys. Maybe they could remake To Wong Fu: Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Anyone playing a mean girl from this day forward needs to take notes from these guys. Everyone is great and there are too many cameos to count.
The film does slow down a bit too much at times, but absolute zany is difficult to maintain. I laughed out loud many times and had a great time watching this. I highly recommend seeing this in the theater, but if you miss it, have a movie party and have a blast. If you don’t like zany films skip the rails and fly on past. Also, go and see Airplane if you haven’t yet!
Triggers: loads of queer humor, sight gags and updates of classic film humor
Available: in theater
LINKS:
CFR: In Addition
O. M. G.
Ok, first OMG. Cranky sent me something that made her happy???? WOW! After watching the trailer I totally understand why. Now I want to see it.
Second OMG. I have a great friend who will LOVE this movie for the drag queens alone.
Third OMG. Next movie needs some drag kings. 😉
Fourth OMG. I gotta work, I gotta work. I gotta work. I cannot go to the movie theater right now and see this. I gotta work.
And Finally: Can RuPaul be our president? Please.
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