Monday With Mildred: “The Lost City”

The Lost City movie poster.

The Lost City

The opening sequence of the film is a funny parody of both Raiders of the Lost Ark and Romancing the Stone, and then continues to parody the latter into the next sequence. Borrowing from classic earlier films is a lot of fun if it’s done right, and it quickly became apparent that they were going to practice and practice and practice.

A writer of romance thrillers ends up against her will in a dangerous jungle running from a bad guy. (Sound familiar?) She is closely associated with a mysterious, hunky male character that inhabits all her books. (Still on the same older movie.) When a real-life guy shows up to help her make a break through the jungle, he’s similar to the hunky character of her books, but not the same. They drive around in a teeny car for a while. (Well, in their defense, Romancing the Stone was a successful movie.) There’s an ancient text and puzzle that must be archaeologically solved. (Other old movie.) There’s a battle on top and around a large truck, including scraping bad guys off the side with palm fronds. (Other old movie.) There were a couple of other donator movies, like Six Days Seven Nights and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle, Uncharted, and a smidgen of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I do enjoy film creators who appreciate their predecessors, but I felt the homagefest was excessive. I’ve barely touched on all of them here. The thing that really made me sad was Sandra Bullock YET AGAIN playing the socially clueless, judgmental smart woman who has to be brought down by her own hubris until a heartfelt speech by a co-star brings her around. The reason I wanted to see this film in the first place is because I really like both her and Channing Tatum. I was right that they would be great together, but the sexual chemistry was really off the charts between Tatum and Brad Pitt. Those two really should make a film together. It would be hot. I would also love to see a film with Bullock and Daniel Radcliff, who really should have had a real mustache to twirl. This film and Jungle Cruise should be used in film classes on how NOT to pair Big Name Actors as romantic leads. Co-stars Da’Vine Joy Randolph and Oscar Nuñez threatened more than once to steal the show.

Stepping off the curmudgeon train for a moment, I will say there were some things that worked well. The music wasn’t awful and a few times had choices that worked, both in song choice and score. Cinematography made some interesting choices, including a recurring odd close shot of things that didn’t scream product placement. The volcano was framed for no good reason in more than a few shots, which made me grin, but YMMV on that. There were some real laugh out loud moments. While watching the movie we enjoyed ourselves well enough, especially when it got very funny now and then.

The good stuff unfortunately didn’t overtake the poor stuff in my book (which was pink this week). Sandra Bullock is now too old for pratfalls, and her sexual chemistry with Channing Tatum was off the charts not there. It was funny and pretty, and has one of the weirdest mid-credits scenes ever. But I can’t recommend it unless you’re looking for seriously brain dead fun.


CFR: In Addition: Uh oh. On Dear. Hubby Scott and I really liked this movie. We both howled in parts and yes to all of the funny things Mildred wrote above. Then again, Hubby and I really like silly so this could be why.

Hmmm…. I just might turn it on and watch right now! Thanks Mildred!

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