Damsel
Here we have an example of that old conundrum, prophesized by Bruce Springsteen back in ’92 when he sang 57 channels “And Nothin’ On”. I searched for something streaming that isn’t mainstream, or lily white and all I saw were old or uninspiring films. Thirty thousand channels and nothin’ on. As with everything else I lackadaisically clicked past, I resisted watching because I had a feeling it was weak and I wouldn’t be enthusiastic. But then I remembered CFR doesn’t mind when I speak my peace. So. *cracking knuckles*
The story is ancient, which I guess is supposed to be the draw for this movie. European Americans, and anyone who has gone to public school in America, is familiar with the worn to a nub stories made famous by the Grimm Brothers in the very early 1800s. The chivalric knight in shining armor, the damsel in distress and the evil queen…even the first ever full-length animated movie had that story (Snow White 1939).
The story of Damsel has a more pragmatic edge to it, acknowledging that kings have forever sold their daughters for some kind of advancement. Typically, though, the princess goes to her doom wide eyed and innocent. Elodie, who chops wood for peasants because she’s the Best Princess, is sold to…erm…betrothed to a much richer royal family because there isn’t enough food. She gets it, and goes along because her peasants lives depend on it. The prince is nice, and smart, and handsome, so she’s okay with it until he throws her into a pit for the dragon to feast on.
Normally I would be all for a story where the gender norms to be thrown out the door. Girl Power! and all that. But I kept feeling like this movie was setting us back from the little progress we’ve made over the last few decades. Just seeing the trailer you will know what happens. You only need to watch the actual movie to fill in the blanks between the clips in the preview. The movie itself reminds the viewer several times that they are watching A Story, from the opening voice over to the dragon saying at one point, “This story always ends the same.”
That’s supposed to be deep and ironic, because by this point the viewer will know this princess doesn’t roll over and die like she’s supposed to, as another old song says, doing it for herself. But the writer is missing the point. The princess isn’t winning anything except her life. Don’t use the tired old tale to just let the girl win. Use the tired old tale to change the freakin system!
There are some good names amongst the actors, from Millie Bobbie Brown (Stranger Things) to Angela Bassett (Black Panther) and Robin Wright (Wonder Woman). I wouldn’t say any of them did more than just earn their check, nothing great. That could be because it’s supposed to be a fairy tale, but I consider it a lame reason. The best acting is the voice of the dragon (Shohreh Aghdashloo, sexiest older lady on the screen, The Expanse, the voice of Gozer in the 2021 Ghostbusters).
They kinda get the look right, with fairy tale imagery like the king riding out with his knights to fight a dragon while wearing his crown, or a golden coach with only two horses pulling it instead of the hundred you would need to move a real gold coach. Some of the screen imagery is good, like the dragon channel Elodie’s ship passes on the way to her new home, or the cavern full of burning birdies. The writing is a regurgitation of the old, old stories with the twist that would have been amazing forty years ago. At one point there is a logic error so big that my viewing companion and I both got eye whiplash. I will rarely mention the casting, but I will say that Brown is either not suited to the role, or the director used her wrong. This princess is hardnosed and bad ass from the start begging the question, if she’s like that at the beginning, is she really a damsel?
If you really want to shake things up, show your child friend or relative this story, especially if they have Disney Princess Brain Rot. It’s not so bad that I hated it, but it was exactly as uninspiring and maybe a little bit boring as I expected. You probably won’t hate it, but you may not remember it for more than an hour, either.
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CFR: In Addition
Ok, last night I almost watched this show. However, I saw 3 Body Problem and watched that instead. (Review is later.)
Now before I begin, I must say WOW Cranky, you WERE snarky this week. I love it.
I read the plot summary in Wikipedia and was surprised that Cranky thought the plot was the same old same old. I saw a takedown of a system, or at least a partial takedown. However, I really can’t say anything until I see it.
Now I want to watch it just to see Angela Bassett and Robin Wright. AND! Any time I get to hear Shohreh Aghdashloo, I am so there. (Oh wow a woman dragon! That seems new.)
I hope if you do watch this that you enjoyed it. I hope Cranky sees something she likes soon. Hugs and Love You, Cranky!
Chick Flicking Reviews 